domesticana

Subliminal Advertising

It seems McDonald's is doing subliminal advertising now. I wonder if this will become the wave of the future (of if it's been going on for years unbeknownst to me) now that no one needs to watch commercials  anymore.

Guantanamo

Last night we finally watched The Road to Guantanamo, and I have to admit I wasn't nearly as outraged as I expected to be. Yes, the prisoners were tortured and horribly mistreated, but not really to the extent I imagined. And yes, the American soldiers are ignorant. Perhaps I'm just desensitized to torture and stupidity, or maybe my imagination is extreme. Maybe it was the lack of maiming and brutal beating kind of torture. Maybe the hype killed it for me. It's not that I didn't feel sick watching what they went through—I guess I just expected it to be so much worse than what I saw.

Essentially, I thought this was a sad, rather scary story of a particularly unfortunate case of high-stakes mistaken identity.

A  group of privileged, early 20-something Pakistani Brits decided, on a lark, to take a trip into Afghanistan during the U.S. invasion to see if there was any way they could help the refugees. One thing led to another, and they found themselves in the middle of nowhere dodging U.S. bombs and finally being captured. Only three of the original group survived, and eventually they ended up in Guantanamo together. Separate from my sympathies watching all they went through, on some level I understood why they were detained. Certainly not for the length of time they were kept, without being charged or given access to a lawyer, but still. They were ex-pat Pakistani's from the UK found among Taliban rebels in Afghanistan—it's not too hard to see why their interrogators were confused. The fact that they had alibis in the UK points to a breakdown in the communication of "intelligence," and makes their story even more frustrating and sympathetic.

For me, the most disturbing part of the movie came from a Bush sound-byte in which he smugly described the captives being detained at Guantanamo. "They're killers. They don't have the same values as we do." Excuse me? Different values than whom? Americans? Is he talking about Muslims having different values than Christians? Does he only mean followers of the Taliban? Surely he's aware that many of the people detained had nothing to do with the Taliban. Who's his "we"? That statement is so egregiously single-minded. The mere notion, let alone actuality, that the leader of a nation, any nation, could say something so totally, freaking absurd is laughable and very, very scary to me. The fact that it's the leader of my nation makes me very, very embarrassed.

Vest in Progress

Last week, we learned that friends of ours in Seattle just returned from Seoul, Korea where they adopted a six month old baby boy. They have wanted to be parents for a very long time, and I am so, so happy for them. We knew of their plans to adopt, but we didn't know when their baby would come to them. In my all too typical way, I left off thinking about a gift until they sent us pictures of him.

Ack! I needed a quick knit pronto, and this little vest seemed like just the ticket. What could be faster than a baby sweater without the sleeves? And with leftover Lambs Pride worsted yarn in my stash, to boot. If only I had found an existing pattern and used it... I decided to wing it, which has been my new philosophy and one I'm excited to continue employing despite the setbacks, but I had a little ripping to do as a result. Not so bad really as it only took me one evening to redo, but still. I do not like ripping back.

I used my Sweater 101 book (written by Cheryl Brunette) to figure out the measurements, did a gauge swatch and just started knitting the body in the round to the armholes. I worked on two circs for the front and back at the arms, and figured out the decreases as I went along. The thing practically knit itself. It was so mindless, I even read some of my book.

I had just finished doing a three-needle bind off on the shoulders, when I turned it right-side out and noticed that the neck hole was only this big, or little I should say. No head would fit through that tiny thing. So, out I ripped, down to the armholes and ended up shaping them again while simultaneously doing the neck decreases. I think his head will fit through now, but I'm going to sew a couple buttons on the shoulder for good measure. On top of the neck snafu, I accidentally picked up the smaller Addis I'm using for the orange edges and knit the entire back piece with them. I guess I shouldn't have been reading and knitting at the same time.

Matt is heading up to Seattle again on Sunday, and hopefully he'll meet get to meet the new baby while he's there. Either way, I've asked him to deliver this gift. So, I need to finish the neck (I'm doing a crossover v-neck) and armbands and find some cute buttons (harder said than done around here). Oh, and I think it really needs blocking.

I'm thinking about grabbing a pair of these penny loafers to include in the box. So preppy.

Indeed

One morning when Ella was being her usual goofy self, I said with all sincerity, "Ella you are such a funny little girl."

She thought a minute and then responded, "Well then you're such a lucky mommy."

Indeed I am.

Here are a few shots of her being silly as I tried to capture all her new-haircut-cuteness.

Fame-ous Party

Our post-child New Year's Eves have been, as one might imagine, completely boring and anti-climactic. Last year, I took Ella to a party that celebrated 'East Coast' time, which was a clever way to include children in the festivities, but I still longed for the days when celebrating New Year's involved a cocktail and a party dress, maybe even a pair of high-heels.

Shortly after we moved and met our friends Justin & Rachel, they started talking up their New Year's Eve party. They hosted one last year, to much success, and planned to do it again and 'we'd better be there, or else.' I think that was in June. That's when I started looking forward to December 31st.

So before the holidays, when we finally decided that Ella and I were off to Hawaii again, I drew the line at not being home for New Year's. I wasn't going to miss a real, grown up, bona-fide party. No way, no how. Much to my surprise, Matt agreed wholeheartedly. It's a testament to how much he likes Rachel and Justin, I believe, that he would plan anything (especially airplane travel) around a party. He's not nearly as silly as I am.

Next up: finding a babysitter. Sitters have been the New Year's conundrum, aside from Matt's ambivalence about the occasion, ever since Ella was born. No one I know wants to babysit on the one holiday that's all about partying. No one except Grandma. Bingo.

Naturally, when we broke the news to Matt's mom that we would be backing out of Christmas at her house, she was seriously bummed and wanted us to make it up to her. No problem. She got to keep Ella for a few days after we returned to California, and we got a free babysitter for New Year's Eve. Ella was happy. Grandma was happy. And we made it to a real-live, grown-up affair.

We danced (yes, even Matt). We drank cocktails (mine for the night were Blue Sapphire & Tonics), complete with Amaretto-drenched cherries and lemon twists. We scrounged for adult-pinata goods. We even sang karaoke (in this case, especially Matt). And that's where things get a little hazy.

It was later reported to me that I worried my friend Lia when I abruptly got up and left her singing solo on our duet to Fame. Oops. Apparently she thought I didn't like the way she was doing it, but I'm positive that wasn't the case. Who knows what the hell I was thinking, but I'm sure it had more to do with my intoxication than her voice, which according to Matt is very nice. I also learned that I embarrassed him to no end while he was singing when I kept saying, "Doesn't he sound good? Guys? Isn't he doing great? Everybody! Listen! Isn't Matt the BEST!" Yeah, I get a little overzealous... My face is turning red just thinking about it.

Anyway, it was an awesome party. I'm already looking forward to next year.

Baby Love

I have never been good about keeping up with my knitting (among other things) on this blog, and one of my New Year's Resolutions is to stay on top of it. Here are two baby sweaters I finished last year for my good friends Jess and Jamil.

Pattern: Judy's Grandmother's Baby Sweater from Greetings from Knit Café (the only pattern I like in this book)

Yarn: Kollage Yarns Cornucopia, in Island Blue

Needles: 29" Addi Turbos in US6

Jamil just moved back to Texas, and I struggled to come up with something to knit for her baby that wouldn't be too hot. I'm not sure if I succeeded, but that was the intention with the corn yarn. I enjoyed working with it more than I anticipated, and despite a few flubs here and there (I'm working on letting things go), I really like the way it turned out. This pattern is fun, and would have been very quick had I been, oh I don't know, actually knitting.

Pattern: Chunky Knit Cardigan from Simple Knits for Cherished Babies  & Hi Top Baby Booties from Knitting on the Go

Yarn: GGH Samoa in Pale Lavender, Fuschia and unknown darker purple, possible discontinued color

Needles: 29" Addi Turbos in US5   

I love this sweater pattern. It knits up in a flash, and the shoulder shaping is so, so sweet. The booties were an after thought when I discovered lots of Samoa scraps in my stash. I've knit many a project with that yarn, and I knew those little leftovers would come in handy. I love the hot pink soles.

I knit this identical sweater for another baby-popping friend last year, but forgot to take a picture before I gave it to her. That one was worked in Cascade Luna cotton yarn in their hearty deep red colorway. While I was working on it, my pregnant recipient showed me all of the adorable pieces she had been working on for the baby, and she pulled out the same sweater, fortunately in a smaller size and with very different yarn. I thought about scraping it and finding another pattern, but it was too cute not to finish and, I figured, at least I knew she liked the pattern.

Gadget Lust

I'm not sure I've ever coveted any techno item more than this new phone/iPod/computer in your pocket. Being a Mac user and a fan, I simply cannot believe what they have created. To me, and maybe I'm naive, the availability of this kind of technology seems like a giant leap into the future. I feel giddy (and incidentally, like a big dork).

Music History

The other day, Ella and I were clicking around on the iTunes Music Store, listening to clips of holiday songs. She loves hearing different renditions of the same song, and while on a mission to track down as many versions of Jingle Bells as we could, Ella fell in love with "Here Comes Santa Claus". We must have heard it 50 different ways, including a very strange rendition compiled from cat meows by a group called The Jingle Cats. In our endless search, we happened to click on the Andy Williams album I grew up listening to around Christmas.

So, I told her, "Ella, this is the Christmas album I always listened to when I was a little girl."

"You mean, with your mommy on her computer?"

My how times have changed...

Christmas morning snapshots

Here are a few of my favorite present-opening snapshots.

I won't let you spoil me!

In the past few years, my parents have become big gift givers, and the competing forces of gratitude and greed and then inadequacy and resentment have been at play in my mind ever since. Part of me is so grateful for their generosity but then also thinks it's over the top and sending the wrong message about the holidays to Ella, and then the other part of me says, "Screw it—just give me the huge J. Crew gift certificate." On top of that, there's the feeling of not being able to measure up, wondering if my well-intentioned gifts get overlooked for their lack of a soaring price tag.

Among my extended family, my mother is notorious and often scorned for giving extravagant, lavish gifts. Everyone sees her generosity as a means of flaunting her wealth (which is greater than the rest of the family but not extreme by any stretch) and, in turn, making everyone else feel inferior. Naturally, she resents and adamantly denies that her gift giving is anything other than pure of intention. She also resents that despite being demonized for giving so generously, many members of our family have taken advantage of it or come to expect and even demand it. I think she's just looking for eternal gratitude (no small request), but regardless of her intentions, it rarely works out the way she would like.

Before Christmas, Matt and I talked about how far we wanted to take Ella's gifts this year, and determined that we definitely have different ideas about how much is too much... Last year, I made a concerted effort to go light on gifts and encouraged our family to do the same. We spent very little on Ella—the most important gift consisted of a dowel and some rope for her precious trapeze. And, naturally, she was thrilled with everything she was given. In line with what she received, the three of us worked together to make gifts of homemade bath products for all the women on our list and her friends at school, and I think the process of making something and seeing the delight on peoples' faces really got through to Ella. She was totally into it.

By comparison, I was very lazy this year. Virtually nothing was handmade, and most of the gifts I gave felt relatively uninspired. Considering the past few months were probably some of the most hectic of my life, I'm cutting myself some slack. Still, I'm sad that I didn't exemplify, for Ella, the spirit of tradition and giving this season. We were downright skimpy with the holiday cheer, and it's killing me that this was likely one of the last few Christmases when she'll still believe in Santa. The magic is going to be over before she's had a chance to really experience it (the way I want her to anyway). So, what about presents?

Matt argued that Ella is a lot like he was a kid when it comes to her toys—she plays with them endlessly, appreciates things genuinely and somehow remembers the forgotten thing (usually the one that I managed to purge when she wasn't looking) within a day or two. She does seem to appreciate everything she owns, and even manages to remember who gave her what, referring to "the puzzle Imogen gave me" or "the sweater Grandma made for me." 

Can you tell I'm trying to justify too many presents?

At first when people asked her what she wanted for Christmas this year, Ella answered, "Nothing." I was taken aback. She really couldn't think of anything, which is lovely in one way and in another points to the fact that she has everything under the sun. Then we stopped in to see Santa before we left for Hawaii, and when asked, she told him that she wants some stickers and a bike. Being that a plane ride was required to return home, Santa couldn't bring her a bike. A Razor scooter seemed like a good substitute, and I already knew she'd love it. She has also been coveting a cabbage patch kid, and the nostalgic kid in me can't resist giving her the thing I wanted most that Christmas so many, many years ago. So, we had a scooter and a helmet, a new doll, and a couple odds and ends for her stocking. I thought that was more than enough considering all the gifts she received from various relatives, including the mondo-wooden-kitchen from my mother (see above bit about lavish gift giving).

But then Matt got it in his head that Ella is ready to have music in her room. He is a hi-fi/speaker junkie, of the horns and tubes variety and if you know anyone like that (or him!), you'll believe me when I say, "He's crazy." So, seeing that my mom just sent him a new video iPod (with the 80GB drive no less--see what I mean?), he really, really wanted to give Ella his old, first generation iPod and old Altec speakers/recharger. But sheesh, that seemed like a lot to me.

When I was her age, Santa brought me my beloved Fisher Price record player, along with Kool & the Gang's "Celebration" and Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical". It was a banner Christmas. We were living in Manhattan, Kansas, and I remember seeing it next to our fake tree on Christmas morning, in all it's tan and orange glory. I remember finding two cinder blocks with my mom, spraying them with the leftover silver paint we had used to decorate pine cones, and then using them to prop up a sheet of particle board that became my music table. I felt so grown up to be able to take out the albums and put them on my very own turntable.

But, but... An iPod seems so much bigger to me, and I thought maybe it was all about the price tag and the fact that I have some small conception of what goes into creating such a complex piece of equipment. It doesn't matter to me that it's old and probably not worth $30. It was still, at one time, a $250 piece of hi-tech equipment. Despite all my feelings about it, I recognized the practicality of Ella having such a compact system in her room, with no CDs to scratch or cases to lose. So, I reluctantly agreed.

Nothing could have prepared either of us for her reaction. Matt forgot to wrap it. So after Ella had unwrapped all the gifts under our tree he just picked up the iPod and told her it was her last present. He started to explain that it was a hand-me-down, and the only reason he was giving it to her was because it was very old, and he was getting a new one, and she takes such good care of her things, and she can be trusted to be responsible for something so important, and yadda yadda. But, in the midst of him telling her about it, she started shaking her head and saying no, tears welling up in her eyes. I was sitting on the floor nearby, and she ran to me, broke down sobbing and curled up in the fetal position on my lap. She didn't move for 20 minutes. We were stunned.

After much cajoling, we were able to determine that she understood how much responsibility it was to have something like that, and she just doesn't want it enough to take that on. Amazing. We both know how much she loves to listen to music and how excited she gets when we let her change the song and adjust the volume on any stereo. I guess we've been effective in our teaching of, "this is very, very delicate..." and maybe too(?) firm with her about taking care of her things

My mother recently told me that she would have spoiled me the same way she spoiled my brother (i.e., intensely), but that I wouldn't let her. I'd agree with that statement, but I don't know if I could have put it so concisely on my own. When I was born, my parents were struggling to make ends meet, and I'm sure that during my very early years they imparted some healthy values about needing and wanting and giving and receiving. By the time my brother came along, who, to be fair, is a very different character than me, my parents were better off financially, and my mom most certainly indulged him. A lot.

Ella's reaction to the iPod made me meditate on the power we wield over her value system. It seems so intense and so very delicate. We engineered her to have that response and yet couldn't anticipate, or maybe figure through, how she would react. In the big picture, Ella is a very, very privileged child, just as I was, but I hope that, just as my mom reminds me I did, she keeps telling us when we give her more than she can take.

What a lesson. I'm still not clear how to read it all.